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Positive Outcomes: HIV and Me
Discovering the Healing Powers of Running
by Kath
My great discovery of last year was RUNNING. It started in February when my friend who has been living with multiple cancers for over a decade announced she would train for the Sun Run. Inspired by her, I decided to give it a try but had no intention of actually doing the Sun Run. “Who wants to run through the streets of Vancouver with a huge crowd of 50,000 maniacs? How ridiculous is that?” I later ate those words…
Once I started running it didn’t take long to catch the bug. Maybe it was partly about proving to myself that I am indeed healthy despite living with HIV for the past two decades. My AIDS diagnosis was in 1995 when my CD4 count hit rock bottom and I developed serious opportunistic infections. It took a few years but thanks to HIV meds and self care as my priority, my health improved and I had the energy to exercise.
I followed the Sun Run training plan and low and behold – it worked! I started with 1 minute segments of running alternating with walking. Gradually over 12 weeks I was able to build up to 60 minutes of solid running! I ran every other day wherever I happened to be: East Van streets, gym treadmills, muddy trails at Trout Lake, pathways of Stanley Park, desert hills near Spence’s Bridge, along the coastline of Pender Harbour and even a segment of the TransCanada trail! I became obsessed with the topic of running. I got tips from magazines, websites and the many runners whose paths I crossed.
Getting out the door and the first 5 minutes are the hardest part of running for me. By the end I’m usually beaming with happiness and joy. I get feelings of well being, elation, and strength in my body, mind and spirit. Stress and tension are dissolved. I sometimes imagine the chemical toxins from my pills being released via sweat through my pores. It feels like a physical and emotional cleanse. Running reinforces in me that I am healthy and fit. In a sense, it helps me shift my identity away from that of a person limited by HIV to a person who has power, confidence, passion, resilience, creativity and love of nature. HIV falls into the background. With my wide stride, I leave it in the dust!
As the Sun Run approached I finally decided to do it as a celebration of my achievement. “Why run 10 km through the city with a huge mob? Because I can!” I checked the weather, put on my lucky socks, packed some high energy snacks and set off for the start line. I pushed myself and completed the run in 68 minutes and placed 20,328th. OK, that leaves LOTS of room for improvement but hey, it’s my personal best that counts!
Registering for an organized run is a great motivator for me. After the Sun Run, I signed up for the 5 Peaks Trail Run on Burnaby Mountain. Little did I know that the last kilometre was the extremely steep and gruelling Cardiac Hill! Again, I felt a huge accomplishment by completing this run.
Summer turned to fall and with it the rains came. I subconsciously protested the changing season and didn’t run for weeks. Instead, for much of October I became a sedentary film festival fanatic. Many bags of popcorn later, I realized that in order to maintain the gains I had made, I would have to succumb to either running in the gym or in the rain, neither my favourite. So, I upgraded my rain gear and got outside. I must say, running buddies make a big difference too. Hooray for Butch the dog!
My latest passion is running on the North Shore trails. Rivers and streams are flowing full and the rushing water inspires me as I run up and downstream and cross over bridges. The rainforest brims with life and provides a spiritual quality that I just don’t get from road running in the city. A few years ago at a PWN retreat on Cowichan Lake, I went on a forest walk led by a local Aboriginal woman. She spoke of indigenous plants and the healing power of the forest which really struck me. She explained that simply being in the forest is healing in itself. The forest is so much more than the sum of its parts. It is an abundant living entity from tree top to forest floor, providing us with pure oxygen and aliveness. This idea of the forest having a healing power brings a deeper meaning to me when running in the woods. I feel more connected to myself and so grateful for being alive and healthy.
My discovery of running started by taking the first step, as do all new ventures in life. I wonder what my next discovery will be!