First comes … online dating?
June 25th, 2010
This week, we got a message from the folks at hivdating.ca – an online dating service for people living with HIV in Canada. They were asking us to advertise by providing a link on our site. We can’t do that, but I thought hey, now there’s a great topic for a blog post! Dating is pretty universally accepted as “difficult”, because of the pressure to impress. We all have things about ourselves that we would rather not share, but whether you’re hoping to hook up or looking for true love, you will undoubtedly need to share some of them. HIV and STIs are definitely on the must-share list. Long term romantic relationships depend on trust, and as soon as sex is on the agenda, there is a legal obligation to disclose HIV status. The thought of disclosure and possible rejection is enough to turn anybody off of dating, but it shouldn’t be that way.
We feature Sidney’s story on our website. After lots of ups and downs, she was successful meeting somebody online. For many people living with HIV, online dating offers some additional privacy. If done wisely and safely, it can be like an additional “getting to know you” stage before you even meet, let alone get physical. There are also a number of sites dedicated to matching people living with HIV and STIs. Hivdating.ca is actually part of a larger online dating community. You’ll notice it says “powered by positivesingles.com” at the bottom, and positivesingles.com says “powered by successfulmatch.com”. So it’s a bit of a get-rich-quick pyramid scheme for the site operators, but the advantage at the user end is that you have access to a HUGE database of prospective friends and possible dates.
I also looked at some reviews that praise the security of these sites. Of course, they can’t protect you from sharing too much information yourself, but they will protect the personal information you give them. There’s an added benefit to HIV- and STI- specific dating sites that you might not get from mainstream sites; they can be a place to find support and community even if you are not looking for romance.
As Sidney put it, “Your best defense is a good offense”. Definitely check out her advice and “Have fun but be careful!”
-Miriam
This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network.
This was posted on Friday, June 25th, 2010 at 10:00 am and is filed under Education & Resources, Networking, Spiritual and Emotional Health . Feel free to respond, or trackback.
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